So since I have nothing else to do, presenting to you the gory, violent, death metal cover versions of (in)famous Christmas Carols. (For those who haven't heard the originals, the links are provided.) Enjoy. NOT!
Rudolph The Killer Reindeer (based on Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer)
You know Loch Ness, and Yeti, and Jack and Zodiac,
You know all these killers, scary and their like.
But do you recall the most dangerous of all?
Rudolph the killer reindeer,
had a very bloody knife.
And if you ever saw it,
you would say he killed his wife.
All of the other reindeer
used to call him ‘You-Know-Who’.
They never let cruel Rudolph
crack his head up into two.
Then one gloomy Halloween,
Santa came to say,
“Rudolph, with your knife so bright,
won’t you slit my throat tonight?”
Then all the reindeer feared him,
as he cut him open wide.
All of these other reindeer
then spent a sleepless night.
Then one silent week later,
Dasher went up to him.
“Rudolph, with my sword so light,
won’t you suffer a dreary fright?”
Then all the reindeer rejoiced,
as they shouted out in glee,
as Rudolph the red-mouthed reindeer,
was buried deep beneath the tree.
I Saw Mummy Killing Santa Claus (based on I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus)
I saw mummy killing Santa Claus,
underneath the chili-limbu last night.
She didn’t see me creep,
her murder was very neat.
I was so shocked up in my head,
it took me some time to sleep.
Then, I heard mummy coming up the stairs,
and by that time, I hid under my bed.
She screamed; she went away.
Oh what a corpse I would have been,
had mummy found me in my bed last night.
A Merry Gory Christmas to you. (No, I'm not so evil in real-life.)