Since people are writing open letters to folks from other communities and then people actually write open letters back, I decided to go one step further and write an open letter to my own community.
Goans. Goa. Sigh!
Generally, one never hears any complaints about Goans. I mean, we’re a minority. Have you ever heard any complaint against minorities in our country? Also, considering that most Goans are Catlicks, we follow in the non-violent tradition of Christianity. We never fight. Just go on peaceful marches, maybe. Or write letters to the editor of a newspaper.
Or do nothing.
Laziness is the singlemost defining trait of a Goa. Obvious, no? If you had Indian’s best beaches, feni and sausages to accompany it, you automatically feel lazy. Susegaadh, as we like to put it. Goa earns most of its revenue from tourism (and mining, but that is a non-mentionable), we just need houses near beaches to rent, or a shack on a beach, or bike services, and we know we’ll earn enough to last our grandchildren. Ask the Russians. They pay good.
But this susegaadh can get onto people’s nerves. Like my dad’s. He constantly berates me for sleeping a lot and not helping in cleaning the home. And then he says the reason you don’t see any Goans in high places (careers, men! Not what you were thinking) is because they are too lazy to study extra or work hard. That’s not the truth.
The actual reason why you never see Goans at higher posts in society is because we aim for the simple things in life. All Goans just want to play football, go to church Sunday mornings, have beer, play guitar, jive at weddings to Walk Of Life, waltz at their own weddings to Love Will Keep Us Alive and From This Moment On, have kids, buy a bungalow in Goa and then retire. Oh, and also grow a French beard.
How can anyone blame us Goans for wanting a simple life?
And yet, you will find a few Goans who want to go beyond this. Julio Rebeiro, Leander Paes, Keith Vaz (my dad needs to take a look at this guy, he’s higher up not in India, but in the UK!), Dom Moraes, Sidd Coutto, Eunice DeSouza, Remo Fernandes, Anthony Gonsalves… er…
But look at that! Leaving Keith Vaz who has had some controversies against his name (see dad? That’s what happens when you get to a higher post!), the rest have untarnished reputations. We are as spotless as the vestment that Goan Catholic priests wear.
Been a year and a half since I’ve been to the land of sun, sand and susegaadh. Need to go and sort out my family’s ancestral property issue too. (Yes, me too. Which Goan doesn't!)
And thus ends my open love letter to my brethren (Isn’t that word very Mallu?). Come now, stop reading and call me over for beer. We shall dance over the Goan Masala too.
P.S.: Portuguese citizenship, anyone?
P.P.S.: No matter how much we complain about Goans being stereotyped in Hindi movies, haven't I described all the Goans you've ever seen in Hindi films?